anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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