love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
