When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
it glows. i had to have it.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
