I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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