i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
