After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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