Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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