She's JV to your varsity
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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