if you like me you must not know who I am
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize