just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You can't motorboat a personality
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
