I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
