He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
