He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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