Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
