ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You ate ashes out of my bong
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
