He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
