matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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