i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize