What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
