Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
