Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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