your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
