Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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