Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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