The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
