the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
