that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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