the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
