who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
