Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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