My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
