if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
