They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
