wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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