Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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