I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
you made out with another girl for some wings
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
