Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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