"it" just moved
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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