so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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