it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
