If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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