the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
