What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
