I hate all girls vehemently.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
there was a trapeze. enough said
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He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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