why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
