You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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