every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
