Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize