I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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