Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My bed smells like the plague
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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