yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
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I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
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I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
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