When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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