3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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