Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
