just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
