anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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