she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
