It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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